prayer today

woaaah.. today was awesome.. and to think it happened right at home.. in my sister's room!

woke up today with the resolution that my prayer life was gonna change.. and i tink i was so excited that i just kept dreaming and praying even when i was supposed to be sleeping. that just shows how much an impact last nite left on me. gosh! i love my Jesus! =)

anyways.. went to my sister's room after standing at the window for a bit outside speaking in tongues quietly.. but den i decided that i'd feel more free in her room so i jus went there and 'unleashed' myself. phwooooar.. super powerful lo.. and i tink i was jus there speaking in tongues for a good 5mins or more. and i tink it really set the pace and i ignited my spirit-man. whee!

then i just started praying for my family.. my church.. my area.. singapore.. and den somehow i was jus led to confess to God how i didn't want Him to leave me.. that i didn't want to walk out of this experience and not carry His presence with me or just be the same old me that walked in the room or that walked in last nite. it was like i was almost afraid and desperate NOT to get back to where i was and den i jus started crying and tearing. and i knew that God was doing that work in me.. wow! i jus told Him that i wanted to go to a higher calling so i can see further and i asked Him for a vision and a dream and to re-ignite that spark in me. that I woud pray passionate prayers of faith... and the tears jus came. i dun even know why.. but that's how God works i guess.. in mysterious ways.. and that is exactly what draws me to Him and makes me get all excited for Him.. cuz u'll jus never know what'll come next and u know whatever comes.. its gonna be GREAT! AWESOME!

alright.. now i feel like i'm suddenly mentally cushioning and preparing myself that i will be disappointed at times.. and yes.. while i know that.. i also know that my God is BIG and He's powerful and mighty! and nothing's too big for Him to accomplish! so i'll keep believing.. keep trusting.. keep loving..

and i know that if i heed the voice of the spirit more and more.. i'll learn to hear Him louder and louder in my life.. and i want that to happen! i want to hear Him so much more.. and i want to be obedient.

prayed the solemn assemlbly prayer on consecration after i finished praying on my own.. and den read the Bible. and the solemn assbly one? wow.. i jus started rattling on.. and i knew i was being led by the Spirit to go into areas that i needed to go into.. and i tink it was the most passionate one yet since the first day.. =) hee..yay! i'm soooo fired up for Him.. and i wanna keep being that way!

last nite josh mentioned that i seem to know my calling.. after i mentioned htat i will always remember how Jesus' eyes look. and i can still remember.. they were soft.. they were brown.. they were filled with love.. and yet they were filled with the kind of power and authority that comes from a leader who knows what He's doing.. yeah.. it was a gaze that held me and still holds me.. =) and i remember the time at encounter when i saw Him on the Cross and later jus lifting me up..h olding my head up and telling me that everything was finished.

now.. these might be sound like their fantasized notions or something.. but.. yeah.. i nkow that somehow somewhere i've seen it.. and i know that it was really an encounter with God.. something made real in my life..

and abt my calling.. that day jie was saying that she thinks that i know exactly where i shld go alr.. and that God's alr told me where. and to be honest it caught me by surprise.. cuz while in my heart it jus clicked and i knew that wad she was saying was true.. i was also left wndering.. did God tell me already? cuz if He did.. i hope i didn't miss it.. but yeah.. it jsu reminded me of the calling that i received way back.. that i'd be a pastor of some sorts.. like over youth.. to shepherd em.. and i was telling jie that i dun feel ready if i were to be ym or something.. that i culdn't commit to the schedules.. that if i were like that.. den i couldn't get married or date?? and yeah.. i tink i need to bring it to God to help me work it out..

reason.. yes.. sometimes the very tools that God equipped us with serves to bring us away from living by faith when we forget the Person behind em.. and yeah..i tink i need to stop looking at things with physical eyes .. and stop reasoning within myself and jus trust.. just fall... into His arms..

i'm dancing up to where He is.. entering into His throne room with praise!