words of advice

alright.. so i've told gary abt what's going on wif me n qx/josh. gosh.. ir eally have to start naming him properly... pp are getting confused.. but den again.. hmm.. this IS for me to see only rite? and God knows every single thing anyways..

and his advice, anyway, is that.. we really need to set boundaries.. and that we shldn't rush into things. cuz yeah.. he has no doubt that josh is a nice guy and in fact most pp are nice.. but we gotta be practical esp since josh might be flying off to do his studies. and gary jus cautioned me abt the fact that we haven't seen each other for a long time la.. so yeah.. to take things slowly. plus i haven't started working yet.. and well.. there's still a lot more for me to see la.

gary also talked abt having faith in God's plan.. having confidence that wht shld come to pass WILL come to past. and i thot that was good la.. =) cuz its true lo.. leaving God out of the equation jus makes it a "normal" relationship that's based on nothing.. i mean.. i'd really liek my relationship wif whoever to be one that honours God and that makes an exemplary example. yep..

best part abt gary talking abt this is also that he let me know the realities of dating la.. that it realy is close to impossible to maintain a platonic frenship without some passions being stirred up. and yeah.. i plan to talk to gary more on this.. like wad defines a relationship? how do we keep within frenship boundaries? and altho i've talked this thru wif dawn (cuz she's going thru somethign like this) i feel like.. well.. i'm jus as clueless la.. and i wan to see God's stand in this.

honestly i'm feeling like i'm halfway in a relationship alr.. jus minus e physical intimacy..which i dun mind at all la.. tt i will wait for the right time and God's green light. but is this right? shld i be doing this at all? sometimes i get uncomfortable when josh goes on abt US and the FUTURE.. and i'm thinking.. well.. are we jus taking matters into our own hands? well.. i'm jus hoping that God will speak to josh abt things.. and tt even if its a hard decision to make.. that josh would hv tt strength to come speak to me abt it.. cuz if not.. it will come from me.

i guess i need to draw on God's strength a whole lot more.. and yeah.. like wad gary said.. it really is a process.. a question "is he the one" that will keep coming back for as long as u're not married and hopefully till den my heart would've really confirmed tt deep down inside.

i'm really feeling blessed abt this now.. that i have such a great guy wif me.. someone who i can trust.. and whom i'm really proud of in terms of character. only thing is.. i tink now is the time when we really need to guard our hearts all e more.. cuz despite josh saying that this 4 months will be a time when stuff will get resolved.. i tink its gonna be a time of testing and moulding too.. like to really burnt away the finery to see the stuff tt's within. to know if this direction is e way to go or not.. and i pray that God will reveal that to us as we proceed on...

Lord.. i'm giving this to u right now.. and i ask that You take this in Your loving hands and make something out of it.. i'm confused.. but i know that You know all tt's gonna happen and i just ask that it is Ur will that stands and not my own desires.. if we're meant to be together.. i know that You'll put us both there at the right time.. =) in Jesus name i pray this.. Amen..