a date on sunday?

ha.. guess this is kinda bad. this blog was supposed to contain all my spiritual insights and all tt but somehow its really turned into a private blog where i can blah all my frustrations and excitement in one post and not worry abt pp i know reading it.

not that i'm ashamed of my life.. but i guess this is better cuz i tend to blah things out when i'm still thinking thru and not myself and plus i wouldn't wan to burden em with my personal life in a way. guess i'm still a rather private person. heh heh! i only hope that it isn't PRIDE that's keeping me from being open and transparent abt things.

oh Lord, keep me humble in You that i'll always be honest and open with You and the leaders that u've put in my life to watch over me and guard/guide me. thank You Jesus.. i wanna keep that open communication with You. In Ur name i pray..

well well well.. i was commenting on wed that i couldn't wait for the weekend to come.. and well.. obviously my frens have no idea abt wad's going on in my head except for erjie.. somehow.. and chris commented that i must've no kind of proj meeting during the hols hence e optimism in my statement. but actually its cuz i'll be meeting him this sun and we're jus gonna kinda celebrate vday? i dunno.. he wants to celebrate it somehow. hahaha he's like set aside e entire sunday for me la.. basically.. and of cuz i'm excited la! hahah but now when i tink abt it.. actually.. my life feels kinda full.. and i'm honestly not thinking abt it very much.. much less be excited over it. heh!

thinking abt this thign tho.. i'm actually wondering if we're taking things too far? as in.. i'm aware abt starting a relationship way before it actually becomes official. its like.. from what we're doing now - smsing regularly and talking on the phone too - it feels like we're really getting serious with each other and our lives. how do we draw the line at jus getting to knwo a person better as a friend and being in a relationship? surely there is that difference. now the thign is... are we making that difference? i guess for him, its kinda easy..but for me, i've always been one to draw the line really clearly so that i make sure i dun cross over it if i'm not supposed to.

so shld i draw the line clearly? am i sinning? am i actually engaging in a mental relationship even tho we've both told God and agreed that we won't get into anything till 4mths later? hmm.. i tink its time i guard my heart... =)

i'm really glad that my sister asked me last nite abt our 'date' this sunday. cuz it really put this into perspective la. and of cuz it did bring abt the value of accountability. like if i know i'm doing somethign right.. then i shld be able to speak it out and speak it loud. i guess if i'm ashamed/embarrassed to reveal something like this.. its prob an indication that i'm not going in the right direction.

Lord.. i really wanna do this Ur way.. i dun wanna screw up things jus cuz i like it or i feel good. no! i wan it Ur way.. and only Ur way. speak to josh abt this.. and i'm praying that he will take the lead in this. cuz i dun wan both of us to get lulled into a false sense of security that the devil can use against us. Lord.. i want to live for U and for Ur glory! help me Jesus! in Ur name i pray..

yep yep..

he hasn't replied to my sms.. prob busy.. or maybe e sms didn't get thru.. but.. honestly.. i dun mind.. i tink a lil distance might do us good.. otherwise we'd prob jus be acting out of passion and only passion.. heh!

gonna hv child lang meeting like nwo.. but i still haven't done the readings.. argh! help!

but den.. at least.. tmr's e beginning of the weekend.. ling's gonna come over for discipling.. so yeap.. praying that it'll be a fruitful time.. -beams-