encountering God at pre-teen

wow.. never thot that i'd encounter God is such a way at the encounter meant for the preteens.. =) and tt jus goes to show that God never forgets anybody.. and that He's real and ready to minister to anyone who's ready. praise Him.. i love Him so much.. i jus wanna stay this way forever and ever and ever... well.. i will actually.. since i'll be in Heaven with Him when i die. and i know its sounds totally morbid when i say this.. but i actually jus mean that i'm jus gonna get closer and closer to Him.. closer than i ever have been.. oooh.. i wanna go Heaven!!! i wanna meet wif God all day and spend time with Him..

but hey.. i can do that! and i'm gonna make sure i keep it up wif God.. that every day i'll experience Him fresh and anew..

today becky told me abt how today when we led worship.. she was looking at me and she thinks that i've got a calling on my life.. and prophetic one.. that i'm anointed.. and that jus made me wanna cry.. like.. wow! so awesome... oh man... its jus weird la.. when i go there to minister.. i end up crying like mad and jus getting ministered and touched over and over again.. i love God so much!! and i must say that there's one thing that i've learnt from leading worship.. is that.. the thing is to forget abt myself TOTALLY and think abt God ABSOLUTELY. everytime i spent QT wif God in the mornings for preteen, i got spoken to.. and at night when i lay in bed(e first nite was e ONLY nite) i tink God revealed to me that He is my Designer and that He made me the way i am on purpose. there's a whole big grand scale design and plan behind my being and looking like this. and for me to alter it or to despise it would jus be wrong. it wasn't even ministry time or anything.. jus me and God and the bed. but yet.. even now as i type this.. i feel an affirmation like never before.. and i believe God is taking me to the next level as He is teaching me to be comfortable wif my own body.. =) praise the Lord!

everything jus fell into place this few days. everything happened for a purpose. the newspapers i brought for the game which we didn't play, were used for the burning of the sin sheets. and that's jus really by the hand of God that the timing and use was that. yaaay... i tink my pride went down quite a bit also during the worship sessions cuz it really isn't my voice or my skills but its God's presence.

becky's jus awesome as a leader. she's so encouraging and positive.. and man.. i wanan be like her!!!! =)

got second thots (if u can call it tt) well maybe, jus more thinking abt my 'calling' as a full time minister as a pastor? maybe i'm not meant to do that.. but i'm jus meant to be a professional/corporate person.. but yet living my life as a lay minister for the Lord. hmm.. maybe?

anyways Gary's asked me to teach at the encounter for youths. and well.. i must say that i'm kinda excited.. but yet.. i know that i hv to depend on Jesus for the knowledge.. and not on my own strenght alone. i hv to let God draw from me the things that He wants the youth to hear.. =) training's this sun.. and guess i'll jus hv to push dance pract to 1 ba... so dance from 1-3 den training from 3-5? and evening at 6.. really v long never go for evening service le.. i miss it.. =)

la la la.. camp on mon to wed.. dance blast.. feeling kinda jittery abt it... cuz i dun hv frens... but.. hmm.. i'll ask God for frens den... =) He'll provide me some.. thank You Jesus!!