i guess sometimes i jus let feelings get ahead of me and sometimes i jus feel so cruddy.. like im so detestable that i get so unpopular. but yet today i really experienced God's love working in my life despite how i felt abt myself. God told me i was His child and that He'd love me forever. and today i actually went to class with a huuuuge smile on my face despite all i was feeling. and i have God to thank for that..

its hard to feel like im the best when reality sometimes tells me i'm second-best.. in terms of looks.. ideas and friendliness.. gosh.. but then the bible tells me who i really am and what i'm like in God's sight.. and tt makes me feel so much better.. like u know.. i dun really need to kowtow to the standards of this world.. and i know that i can be who i am wihtout fearing what pp will think of me.. popularity wise of cuz.. and it's gonna help me to be a real person.. sot hat pp cna really see the change in me.. as a child of God.

and yesh.. today's LPP test.. i jsu felt i didn't argue as convincingly. liek i know i managed to put across interesting pts and pull the material togeter.. but somehow i jus feel inconfident.. but den again.. i've placed it in God's hands and it really is no piont worrying abt it.. same for my bahasa test.. now all i can do is to look ahead.

but honestly why i'm worrying is cuz i feel likei have to keep up my CAP.. my grades to be exact and tt's jus really annoying.. if only i were graduating this sem.. but yet i know that i really do wanna go on and do honours.. this is jus my lazy self speaking. and jus the desire to not live up to expectations.. and i do know that these expectations are imposed on myself by me.. soo yesh.. i jus really need to try my best and trust God on this la.. my religion paper is jus done.. and all i can do is pray that my prof understands what i'm writing abt.. and yesh.. i need to get my ism done too.. darn.. means i need to get my data all sorted out and colelcted too.. GOd..i need ur help on this.. i've got too many thigns going on all at once.. and i jus wanna stop and rest .. feeling tired.. thank God gary's so nice abt it.. was supposed to send him a write up by tmr morn.. i tink i'll still do it.. but there's less pressure now.. so i'll prob sleep after this.. need to cancel out my sleep debt

ahhhh i feel so good jus ranting all this out.. its amazign how constipated i am on my other blog now.. i tink sometimes i jus need to lte it all out and u know.. detox my system of all the blah-ness i'm feeling.. heh!

now.. to sleep.. adn to not care abt the cares of this world.. to not let it bother me at least.. and here's praying for a fresh mind tmr! (: