a painful moment

when my sis told me not to make josh an isaac in my heart that would have to be sacrificed one day, i didn't think that it'd be so soon.

nevertheless, Father, if you want this and this is Your way.. then i say.. let Your will be done. becase there is nothing under heaven that is beyond Your grasp. and i know You love me. i know You love him. i want to thank You for everything that is happening now, whether i view it as good or bad. there is still a lil part of me that def wants everything to work out jus fine and smooth sailing.. but Lord.. Your way is the Best Way and I want to be obedient to Your call.

i'll admit that i was and perhaps am (jus a little) irritated and annoyed at the fact that this entire thing can be 'held up' by evan's comments. but i know how you have placed us all under authority for a reason and it is by your hand that her authority is above josh and hence myself as well. so i wanna release forgiveness and blessing upon her life. i pray that your holy spirit will cont to anoint her and pour favour over her and the things that she does. lord bless her for being such a faithful leader who's truly one that is accountable to you for her sheep and for always being a watchful shepherd that's responsible. lord i pray that you will keep her safe in your arms and strengthen her as she conts to labour for you for your harvest fields. i pray this in Jesus' most precious name.. the name that saves and brings freedom.

so now i'm waiting and i'm gonna see what comes out of this.. but lord, i'm so thankful that you have given josh such an obedient heart to honour his leader. this really shows how much respects authority and that he has a fear of you more than he does to man. it will certainly be tough breaking the news to the pp that i've jus told .. so lord i pray you help me get thru, cuz it really is tough for me. i give my pride to you. i've told xuan that thigns are complicated and lord.. i pray.. pls pls pls help me thru this, cuz i'm abt to be crushed by this. but i know that in your strength i am more than able to stand underneath this. and i am more than a conqueror in this. i bless your name Father! hallelujah! i rejoice because of this hard time when i can experience you n see you the most clearly. i rejoice cuz i get to see how both of us will react in such situations when hard times come. there's still that glimmer of hope that everything will be okay in the end.. but Lord.. its really all up to you.. and i give all my rights as a person up to you now. what you will lord.. that's what my life will be.. help me thru though.. because i am weak and i feel alone and inadequate.. but you are able. and i will trust in that strength cuz ur strenght is made perfect in weakness. lord let it be so then, that your glory may shine for all man to see. hallelujah!